who's gonna save us
by SometimeAfterMidnight
Summary: If they could see into the future...see what they could lose...would it change their present?
1. Chapter 1

a/n: Well, the New Girl writing bug has bitten me nice and hard. I was so grateful for the response I got on my last little fic that I decided to write a companion piece…a little longer and in-depth this time.

I thought it would be interesting to see if Nick would feel differently about his and Jess' current situation if he got a peek at what the future held…or could hold Alas, this fic was born.

Enjoy…I'd love to know what you think!

()()()()()  
()()()()()

_He couldn't remember the last time he'd slept so deeply. _

_His limbs were so heavy that they felt attached to the mattress. His head felt like it literally weighed 500 pounds and it took every ounce of strength he possessed to rotate his neck so he could turn his head to one side to rest against the pillow._

_How long had he been asleep for? He couldn't remember anything after he'd reached for Jess and finally grabbed her hand. He supposed the simple act had comforted him enough to lull him to sleep but how long had he possibly been out for? It felt like years…_

_Jess._

_He rolled onto his side, fully expecting to see her curled into a ball, still sleeping soundly. But instead the sheets were empty. He ghosted his hand over the space she usually slept in wishing it was still night and that they still laid together. At least in the darkness, in their bed, he could forget the words and issues that had torn them apart. But as the rays of what he assumed were early morning sunlight filtered through the blinds, the weight of their decision was suddenly brought back into focus._

_He sat up in bed and swung his legs around until his feet came in contact with the hardwood floors. _

_Wait. _

_Hardwood floors? The last time he'd checked their loft had polished concrete floors, or at least that's what Jess referred to them as…he just knew they were grey…and shiny…well, sort of. Regardless, he knew what their floors looked like and they _definitely _weren't hardwood. _

_He ran his hand against the scruff on his jaw and then let his hand travel up his face to rub at his eyes. He blinked a few times and then opened his eyes wide, letting the room come into view. _

_He could feel his mouth tilt into what Jess always referred to as 'turtle face'. He turned his head slowly and took in his surroundings for the first time since he'd woken up. It was different. It was _all _different. In fact, it didn't look much like their room at all._

_Jess._

_He ran his hands over his face again. He knew yesterday was pretty much a blur, but he was pretty sure he would have remembered all new furniture and he's positive he would've had a comment about the overall floral-ness of the bedspread. _

_He reached for his dad's old pocket watch, which he always kept on the nightstand, but froze his movements before he had the chance to flip it open. His eyes went immediately to the small picture frame that he had never seen before. As he studied the photograph inside the frame he felt his body begin to grow lax. He felt his grip on the pocket watch loosen and barely noticed as it slipped from his hand and bounced against the floor._

_It was a picture of him and Jess; one he hadn't seen before. He supposed they looked mostly the way they usually did. Her hair was in long, loose ways, bangs trimmed neatly to fall against her eyebrows and her signature glasses perched upon her nose. He looked like he could've used a haircut and a shave, which really wasn't anything new, but, it was how they posed that was like a punch right to his gut._

_They were in a park somewhere, walking down a partially shaded trail. Jess had her head thrown back in laughter; her nose scrunched up just the way he liked. A wide smile was across her face. His face was turned in her direction and he was laughing too, although he wasn't sure if it had been something she'd said or just the sight of her laughing that made him react in that way. _

_But it was what was between them…_

_Between them stood a little boy who was two, maybe three, at the oldest. He had a mop of sandy brown hair and wore a tiny flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, dark jeans, and black Chuck Taylor's. He hands were tucked into his and Jess' and he glared directly at the camera with his eyes wide and one of his eyebrows hooked upwards, a slight hint of annoyance on his face. The little boy's eyes were captivating. They were easily his most distinctive feature._

_Nick had only seen those eyes once before in his life…_

_Jess._

_What the _hell _was going on?_

()()()()()

_He stumbled to the door of the unfamiliar room and swung it open. Instead of Schmidt's bedroom door coming into sight he was greeted by a short hallway and a wall covered in picture frames._

_He walked slowly past the photographs. Each was filled with a picture of the same little boy who had been in the photograph of him and Jess on the nightstand. There were baby pictures that highlighted his round blue eyes, pictures of him playing, pictures both casual and posed. Nick wasn't sure who this kid was, but it was very obvious that he was well loved._

_He was just about to call out for Jess, hopeful that she could shed some light on what had become an increasingly irritating situation, when he noticed the little boy from the pictures sitting at the end of the hallway, his knees drawn to his chest. Maybe they were babysitting him or something and he'd forgotten that they were supposed to? It didn't explain the pictures or the strange place he'd woken up, but maybe one of Jess' friends had a kid he didn't remember? He was reaching, he knew that, but he was desperate for any sort of explanation._

_At the exact moment he opened his mouth to try and yell for Jess again the little boy turned his attention in Nick's direction. Those eyes came in contact with his and he just froze. _

"_What…who…what?"_

_The little boy ignored his stuttering, and lifted his finger to his lips in a shushing motion. Nick chose to listen and his mouth flapped shut. He sank onto the floor beside the child and pulled his own knees to his chest._

"_Why are we being so quiet?"_

_The little boy turned his blue eyes on him again. "I'm hiding from Mommy."_

_Mommy?_

"_Are you lost?" Nick whispered. The child shook his head. "Am I lost?" _

_The child rolled his eyes._

"_Who are you?"_

"_I'm Hank."_

_Hank. Nick made a turtle face and bobbed his head slightly. He liked the name Hank…it was a good, solid, non- fussy name. It was the name of someone who wouldn't get teased on the playground. He mentally commended the child's parents for giving him a socially acceptable name, plus sounding like a cowboy was instantly cool._

"_Hi Hank. I'm Nick." He hesitated for a beat. "Do you know who I am?"_

_The child sighed and his lips turned downwards into a mini turtle face. "Of course I do. I'm four…not stupid." Hank's blue eyes blinked slowly. "But it's ok if you don't know who _I _am. You might never know me."_

_The child spoke in riddles. _

"_Um…I'm sitting right beside you. I know you now."_

"_You're having a dream."_

_Huh? A dream. He hadn't even considered that a possibility. At least things sort of made sense now. Although, did people in your dreams ever inform you that you were, in fact, dreaming? He shrugged, anything went in a dream he supposed._

_A dream. _

_It was all a dream._

_Ok, sure. He could handle that. _

"_Well, no offense, kid, but I don't know why you're in my dream."_

_Hank propped his elbows on his knees and rested his chin in his hands. "Mommy tells you all the time to pay attention and now I know why."_

_Nick huffed out a breath. "I don't know who this "Mommy" is but she sounds like she has lots of opinions about someone she doesn't even know."_

"_Henry Day!"_

_The voice of a new person, female, echoed down the hallway. Hank let his legs fall so they stretched out in front of him. "Full name," he sighed. "I have to go."_

_Before Nick could ask him any more questions about this very realistic dream the little boy stood up, brushed his jeans off, and started to walk down the hallway. _

_Hank looked over his shoulder in Nick's direction. "Are you coming?"_

"_Why should I come?"_

_Hank smiled at him. "So you can you see everything you'll lose."_

()()()()()

_Nick was too stunned to speak so he just followed Hank silently down the hallway. He processed his thoughts as they walked._

_None of this was real; it was all a dream. Well at least that explained the house he wasn't familiar with, the pictures of a child he didn't know, and the overall weirdness of the situation. But it was what Hank had said that stuck out to him more than anything else. This dream was supposed to show him everything he'd lose. What did that even mean?_

_They rounded the corner and were in the center of the house. It was an open floor plan with a sitting area to the left, a dining room table in the middle, and a kitchen to the right. A staircase sat at the edge of the kitchen and wound upwards to what he assumed was a second floor. The house felt warm. He wasn't sure if it was because of the sunlight that filtered in through the windows or because it felt like a lived-in family home. Either way, it was an inviting place._

_His eyes bounced from the television that hung over the fireplace, to the bowl of lemons that sat in the middle of the table, to the brunette woman who stood behind the kitchen's apron sink. For a dream, everything seemed a little too real._

_Hank slid across the hardwood floors in his socks in the direction of the kitchen. He pulled out one of the barstools that stood on one side of the kitchen's center island and then climbed up onto the stone countertop, dangling his legs over the edge._

"_Henry Day Miller if I turn around and see you sitting on the counter you don't even want to know how you'll be spending the rest of your Sunday."_

_The warning came from the woman at the sink. Just as she turned off the water and went to turn around, Hank jumped off the counter and instead leaned against the island casually. Nick kept his mouth shut._

"_I was just standing here, Mom," he said casually._

Mom. _The person who Hank had just referred to as Mom, the person who had just referred to the child as Henry Day _Miller_, was Jess. Jessica Day. _His _Jess._

_Nick could feel the wheels in his head turning. The dream. The little boy with Jess' blue eyes. The strange house. The fact that he called her mom. Learning that Hank's full name was Henry Day Miller. _

_Hank had told him that he wanted to show him everything he would lose and it suddenly made sense (well, as much sense as a dream could make)._

_The fight. The breakup. The disbandment of their future. They had fought over what they expected out of each other and their philosophies on a million different things. Everything had ended even though he hadn't wanted it to._

_This was his chance. _This _was what he would get if he could just get his shit together, learn to compromise, and just trust his heart instead of his head. His head was always telling him a million reasons why he couldn't do something or why he shouldn't. He worried about things that shouldn't even be an issue until they were an issue and it took his focus away from the only thing that ever really mattered to him._

_Jess._

_She looked even prettier in his dream than he remembered. Her hair was in a ponytail and her glasses were on her nose, only slightly different from the ones he was used to seeing her wear. She was wearing jeans, a red tank top, and yellow rubber gloves. Her feet were bare._

_She smiled in his direction and peeled the gloves from her hands. "Morning. Hank wake you up?"_

_Nick ran his hand over his hair, only mildly weirded out. Was she aware this was a dream too? As if he could hear Nick's thoughts, Hank quickly shook his head and grasped his hands behind his back. _

_Ok, that was a no. _

"_Uh, yeah I guess he did. I, uh, heard him playing in the hallway."_

_Jess walked in the direction of the child and ruffled his hair. "What did I tell you about letting Daddy sleep on the nights he works late? I know you miss your pal, but Dad works hard and we have to let him get some rest, buddy."_

_Nick felt like he was going to simultaneously throw up and have a heart attack. Jess had just referred to him as 'Daddy' in a completely non-joking, serious way. Even though he was now fully aware that he was dreaming it didn't change the shock value at all. _

_He was someone's dad. He was Hank's dad. He and Jess had a son. Together. His chest tightened. Well, they would if they were able to fix the things that had torn them apart._

_Jess shot an apologetic glance in Nick's direction. "Hank, I think you need to apologize to Dad and then go out onto the porch and play for awhile so he can have his breakfast and wake up a bit."_

"_But we're supposed to go to the baseball game today! The _Cubs _are playing," Hank shrieked, his voice growing more dramatic towards the end of his outburst._

_Nick smiled. Hank was a Cubs fan. Apparently Dream Nick had taught his kid well._

_Jess crouched down so she was at eye-level with Hank. It was completely surreal for Nick to see the two of them together. The more he thought about it the more he realized how much the little boy was the perfect blend of both of them. He obviously had Jess' eyes but his shaggy light brown looked a lot like Nick's had when he was young. Luckily he had inherited Jess' button nose and overall expressiveness, but he had been unfortunately blessed with the turtle face. _

_Nick instantly loved him._

"_We're still going to go to the baseball game," Jess reassured. "It's only 8:30 in the morning…we've still got a few hours."_

_Hank seemed to accept this explanation and ran off in the direction of the front door, but not before he gave a meaningful glace in his direction. Nick just nodded, silently understanding the message Dream Nick's four-year-old was attempting to convey. _

_This was a dream. _

_Just as the door opened and then banged shut he felt Jess come up beside him and wrap her arms around his waist. He lifted his arm and slung it around her shoulders, an instinct after having done it so many times. It felt good to hold her again. _

_He turned his head into hers and his lips brushed against her hair as he spoke. "He's amazing."_

_Jess chuckled low in her throat. "That's the last thing I expected you to say after five hours of sleep, but, for the most, I agree with you. We did good, Miller." _

_She patted him twice on the stomach and then went to pull away from him. Nick tightened his arm around her and rotated her slightly so he could press his lips against hers. He didn't get to do this anymore in their reality so he was definitely going to take full advantage of the dream and kiss her just because he could._

_He moved his lips more incessantly against hers until he heard her sigh and felt her run her hands up his back. He held onto her tightly and sucked her lower lip into his mouth. He wanted to fix things just so he wouldn't forget how good to felt to kiss her. How could he have even thought about giving that up so easily?_

_Jess pulled away from him and rested her forehead against his mouth. "What was that for?"_

_He kissed her forehead and ran his hands up her arms to cup her face. "I just love you," he whispered. "That's all."_

_She laughed at him and then shoved him out of the way. "I love you too, Miller. Always have, always will. Now sit down and let me make you some eggs. If we're going to keep Hank entertained all afternoon at the game then you'll need some sustenance."_

_He wordlessly followed her instructions and slid onto one of the barstools. He found himself smiling at her as she busied herself with his breakfast. _

_Nick felt his heart expand in his chest. They were in-love. They had a son. They _could _make it work._

_No. He _would _make it work._

()()()()()

_It was dusk when they returned home from the baseball game._

_It had been the single best day of his life._

_He had sat at the counter that morning for longer than necessary. After he'd scoured the local paper and learned it was seven (!) years in the future and the Cubs were actually (!) in the midst of a pennant run he'd stumbled upon photo albums that Jess kept on a bookshelf near the kitchen. He had poured over pictures from their wedding (about 14 months before Hank had been born) and chronicled the various stages of Jess' pregnancy. _

_He'd learned about every major milestone in Hank's life through the photographs…including all the things that had caused the current disagreement between himself and Jess. _

_There were pictures from Christmas morning; Hank sitting on a pre-assembled tricycle; Hank ripping open an elaborate train set; He and Hank piecing the track together so it ran in an elaborate design through the kitchen._

_There were pictures from Hank's first day of preschool; Hank standing outside a building with a big, bright sign that read 'Happy Hearts Learning Academy'; He and Jess crouched down with Hank enveloped in their arms, tears on both of their faces' Hank bravely waving goodbye as a teacher lead him into the building._

_He would have sat and looked at photographs of their life for the entire day because the more he saw the more he wanted to experience it all. Watching Hank, and Jess with Hank, made him realize that all the stupid stuff they had fought over didn't even matter. Now that he knew Hank existed (or could exist) the only that mattered was keeping him happy. If the little glimpses he'd gotten into their life were any indication than he figured it was safe to say they would _all _be happy. _

_Nick and Jess sat on the porch swing with Hank nestled between them. They were all still dressed in their Cubs gear and Hank had his head pressed against Jess' breast, nodding on and off in sheer exhaustion. _

_It had made Nick's heart soar to see how excited his son had been at the baseball game. He cheered and hollered at the players for the full nine innings and when the Cubs had won he had been more elated than anyone (and that said a lot considering how long Nick had waited to see the Cubs be successful). _

_Plus, seeing Jess in a Cubs jersey that offered glimpses of her smooth stomach every time she raised her arms to cheer at the game (his Jess…a baseball fan, who would have thought?) wasn't a bad thing either._

_He didn't want the day to end but he knew, as he watched his little boy sleep against his mother, that this dream would soon be over. But it had been enough. He was now prepared to do anything in his power to make sure that this dream became a reality. It would be so good…so simple…and he would make her see._

"_Whatcha thinking about, cowboy?" Jess whispered, nudging his leg with her foot._

_He smiled in her direction and lifted his arm to rest against the back of the swing; his fingers twisted idly against her hair._

"_It was such a fun day," he replied lamely, unable to wipe the bright smile off of his face._

_Jess grinned back at him. "It really was. I can't remember the last time I saw the two of you have so much fun. I thought today would end much differently after Hank woke you up. You didn't get home until after three."_

_That was another thing he'd learned during his brief stay in Dream Nick's world…he was successful. He wasn't a lawyer, still a bartender actually, but he owned a small, whiskey oriented, hole-in-the-wall near the home that he and Jess owned (!) in the Highland Park neighborhood of Los Angeles. The bar, called Walt & Bob's after his and Jess' dads, was popular and had been designated trendy by the editor of some magazine he had never heard off. Regardless, he'd accomplished something. His life had direction. And seeing how proud of him Jess was ignited a fire in him that he hadn't even known he wanted. _

"_I'll sleep in tomorrow," Nick whispered, not wanting to wake Hank, who had started to snore._

"_We should probably get him into bed."_

_Nick pulled the child away from Jess and lifted him into his arms. "Let me."_

()()()()()

_Having left Jess on the porch, Nick settled Hank into this plaid-covered twin sized bed. He unbuttoned Hank's tiny Cubs jersey, letting him sleep in his undershirt, and replaced his jeans with a pair of pajama pants. He pulled the blankets up to Hank's shoulders and smoothed back his hair with his free hand. _

_Nick had never really been around kids, other than his nieces and nephews on occasion, so no one was more surprised than he was to learn how natural everything felt. Taking care of Hank was easy, instinctual even. His confidence only continued to grow as the hours ticked by._

_He had just stood up and was prepared to make his way back to Jess when he heard the blankets rustle. "Dad?" A small voice asked._

_Nick turned to see Hank sitting up in bed, his hair already sticking up messily in the back. "Yeah, buddy?"_

"_You're a really good dad," he whispered. "I hope you get to know me…but for real next time."_

_Nick tried to ignore the burning in his eyes. There was no way he was going to cry. "I hope that too, pal. Thanks for an awesome day."_

_Hank smiled at him and then laid back down and rolled onto his side. _

_As Nick closed the door and ventured back into the hallway he was torn. Part of him never wanted to wake up from the future he was mysteriously visiting, while the other part wanted nothing more than to hurry back to the life he had to fix._

()()()()()

_A few hours later he laid in bed with Jess, ghosting his fingertips over her bare skin. He had been very happy to discover that Dream Nick and Jess had a very healthy sex life and he hadn't wasted any time in experiencing that. _

_But now she was curled in his arms, her legs entwined with his, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so complete. He was hit with the overwhelming urge, once again, to get back to reality and make everything right. _

"_You're sleepy," she whispered, more of a statement than a question. "You can go to bed, you know. I promise I won't mind."_

_He leaned into her further and pressed his lips against the patch of skin beneath her ear that one of his favorite spots on her body. "Can't. You're too pretty to look at. If I close my eyes I can't see you."_

_She chuckled and her hand pulled at his hip, pulling him suggestively against her. "I know for a fact that's not true. I haunt your dreams every night, Nicholas Miller. I won't believe otherwise." _

_Jess pressed her lips desperately against his and for a few seconds he let himself get lost in the kiss. He tangled his fingers in her hair and tilted her head to the side so he could kiss her even deeper. He didn't know when he'd have the chance to do that again, although he was prepared to do everything in his power to make sure it was sooner rather than later._

_Jess pecked at his lips one last time and then rolled onto her side. She switched on the small, bedside lamp, and grabbed a book. "Go to sleep, babe. We'll be here when you wake up."_

_He reached for her hand underneath the covers. He knew for a fact that wasn't true but he knew, if he could get things right, he would wake up to them, both of them, eventually._

()()()()()

Nick woke with a start. His eyes immediately blinked open and after a few, brief seconds he realized he was in complete darkness.

He glanced over at the alarm clock and then over his shoulder. Jess laid in the bed beside him, turned onto her side, facing the opposite direction.

Quietly, he sat up and then swung his legs around to wear they came into contact with the concrete he usually expected. Sadness crept into his heart as he made his way to the door and swung it open.

Right across the hallway was Schmidt's closed bedroom door.

He turned his head to the left and saw the front door to the loft. He turned his head to the right and saw the darkness that contained their living room and kitchen.

He had woken up. Everything was back to normal.

Well, everything except for Nick. He knew he would never breathe a word of this dream to anyone, well maybe Jess, someday, when his dream became their reality. But he was different now. He had a purpose and goals, no matter how unlikely he'd realized them.

He stepped silently back into their room and shut the door behind him. He walked quietly back towards the bed and sank back onto the mattress. He looked in Jess' direction, remembering what she'd been like in their future, and hesitated for only a minute before laying down next to her. He moved behind her and pressed himself against her body. He settled his chin against the back of her shoulder and breathed in the scent of her hair. This was where he belonged.

He traced his fingers over her hip and pulled her against him. "I'm in-love with you," he whispered against her ear.

She didn't respond, he hadn't expected her to, but she shifted slightly in his arms and pulled his arm tighter around her. He wasn't sure if her movement was done subconsciously or deliberately. He didn't care.

They would be alright.

()()()()()  
()()()()()

a/n: Hope you all enjoyed! I'm considering writing a similar dream from Jess' perspective if you guys are interested. I thought it might be interesting to see how she would react to Daddy!Nick…

Thanks again for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

a/n: Thank you all SO much for your enthusiastic response to the first chapter of this story! I was so excited to hear how much you all enjoyed at and your encouragement has worked because here is Jess's dream. Enjoy it and please let me know what you think!

()()()()()

_She woke up feeling empty. _

_She was used to the feel of his arm draped over her hip, his feet tangled with hers, or their fingers hooked together. She wiggled her toes back and forth, clenched and unclenched her fists, and noticed the general absence of his skin against hers._

_She was alone._

_Jess rolled onto her back, eyes still tightly shut, and stretched her arm towards Nick's side of the bed. She ran her hand against the rumpled sheet slowly, remembering what it felt to reach over and let her fingers dance across his chest in an attempt to wake him. _

_She fought against the pang of sadness that rose inside of her and opened her eyes._

_She stared up at a stark, white ceiling._

_She blinked her eyes a few times and sat up slowly. The overall industrial, grimy feel of Nick's bedroom was gone and instead she was greeted by walls painted a muted shade of slate blue and a fluffy, spotless white duvet. The floor was comprised of wide, worn hardwood planks and partially covered by a high pile, shaggy gray rug. It was a beautiful room, but it wasn't hers. _

_It wasn't theirs._

Where am I?

_She folded her hands in her lap and furrowed her brow in thought. She did a quick run-through of the events as she remembered them - a lot of drinking, a horrible hangover, too much fighting, a hasty breakup._

_The sadness that had been temporarily curbed by confusion was back._

_Jess fell back against the plush bedding and stared up at the ceiling. She reached out towards the nightstand with one of her hands and fumbled for her iPhone. She spun it around in her hands and punched her passcode absentmindedly, attempting to gain access. The phone buzzed angrily at her and remained locked. Frustrated, she threw the phone across the bed. This had to be one of Nick's stupid tricks (he'd been known to change her password on occasion) and she didn't appreciate it, especially when she had no idea where she was or what was going on._

_As her frustrated breathing quieted she recognized the sound of running water. It was faint, but distinct. She raised her head slightly and looked towards what she assumed was the bedroom's attached bathroom. Jess was almost positive it was the sound of a shower running. She sat there, her eyes blinking slowly, trying to make sense of the situation, when the noise suddenly stopped. She sat straight up in bed and stared at the door. She could hear someone moving and the sound of light, off-pitch humming. She clutched the duvet to her chest in an attempt to shield herself from whoever was behind the door._

_The door swung open in one, swift movement and Jess felt her eyes grow wide._

"_Babe, have you seen my deodorant?"_

_Nick walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a bath towel. It was tucked loosely around his waist and his chest was still sprinkled with droplets of water. Although Jess was shocked, she couldn't take her eyes off of him._

_Wait…hadn't they broken up? Why was he calling her babe? She was pretty sure that nickname was off-limits now that they were "just friends" again. What was he doing with her in this strange place acting like nothing had happened? She was a notoriously heavy sleeper (she couldn't count how many times the guys had played pranks on her while she was out cold) but what exactly had she slept through?_

"_Nick? What are…"_

_He walked over to the side of the bed and leaned down to drop a kiss on her forehead, instantly taking her breath away. She wanted to ask him where they were or what it all meant but all she could do was stare at him…too happy to have him there and showing her affection to question anything else at the moment. There was something different in the way he looked at her but she couldn't put her finger on it. It was almost…softer in some sense._

_He smoothed a piece of hair off of her face and offered her a lazy smile. "You know what, don't worry about it. I'm gonna go get breakfast started."_

_When he stood back up his towel loosened even further and slid down his legs to create a puddle of white terry cloth at his feet. He winked at her and reached for the pair of gym shorts she now noticed were laying at the foot of the bed. He stepped into them, walked back over to kiss her again, and disappeared out the door._

_Well that was strange._

_She sat in the bed, mouth still hung open and the wheels still churning in her head. Maybe she had been REALLY hungover and they'd already reconciled? Maybe they'd left in the middle of the night and gone to a hotel to escape the loft and their roommates? Yes! She smiled to herself. That scenario made perfect sense!_

_Feeling instantly rejuvenated, Jess popped out of bed and moved cautiously across the wooden floor to where an elaborate, free-standing floor mirror stood in the corner. She studied her reflection in the mirror, well the best she could without her glasses, and other than looking a little tired, decided she looked presentable enough for breakfast. She was wearing a rather sheer nightgown that she didn't remember buying (Nick had really gone all-out on this little getaway) and she would have to find something else to put on before breakfast, but other than that she was pretty much good to go. _

_The clock on the wall above the dresser stated that it was nearly seven in the morning. Even though their status was uncertain, Jess hated the thought that she might make Nick wait for her when he was nice enough to make breakfast, assuming their hotel room had a kitchenette. She decided to put a shower on hold for the time being. Besides, there were quite a few things she needed clarified and she was hoping he would be able to shed some light on what seemed to be a never-ending list of mysteries._

_She walked into the bathroom Nick had walked out of a short time earlier (there was no way she was going to meet him for breakfast before she at least brushed her teeth). Jess felt her mouth fall open as she walked into the luxurious room. The walls were a pristine white and were accented by a high, beamed ceiling and multiple skylights. There was a large, ceramic soaking tub and an oversized shower stall lined in muted sage tile with glass doors and dual shower heads. It was fantastic and undoubtedly expensive. Deciding not to think about how they were affording this, she grinned and walked over to one (of two) vanities and began to search for her toothbrush. _

_There was a blue toothbrush sitting near the sink she stood in front of but she assumed that was Nick's. She opened up one of the vanities, and stared at shaving cream, a variety of medications, and other random toiletries. It was an odd assortment to find in a hotel, but alas, still no toothbrush._

_Out of the corner of her eye Jess spotted a bubble gum pink toothbrush sitting to the right of the second bathroom sink. Honestly, she didn't remember her toothbrush looking exactly like the one there but it did look similar to something she would choose. She shrugged and reached for the toothpaste. Really, who else would it belong to anyway? It was _her _hotel room. _

_Her mouth had begun to fill with bubbles when she heard the sound of the door opening and could sense a presence behind her. Jess spun around, expecting to be greeted by Nick, but instead was greeted by a child._

"_Did Daddy hide yours again?"_

_The little girl couldn't have been much older than six and she stared up at Jess with wide, dark eyes and raven-colored hair that framed her face. Her expression was a mixture of melancholia and annoyance. Jess was prepared to scream for help or frantically try to search for the child's parents when she smiled at her._

_Jess froze. That smile. It was familiar and foreign all at once. She noticed the way the little girl's ears poked out from within her hair and how she was missing one of her front teeth. She was petite but appeared to be self-assured; the way she placed her hand on her hip and widened her doe-eyes was almost adorable. The girl was almost recognizable but she couldn't place it. _

_Jess spit the toothpaste into the sink and rinsed her mouth._

"_I'm sorry…are you lost?"_

_The child rolled her eyes. "I told him it wasn't funny anymore but I guess he didn't listen."_

_Jess wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and reached for the glasses that sat on the countertop. The child came into sharper focus and she gasped. Other than the different colored eyes, the child looked almost identical to the pictures she'd seen of herself when she was a little girl._

"_Who are you?" She whispered._

_The little girl gave her a gap-toothed smile. "I'm yours…well, I can be."_

_Jess felt her mouth flap open and shut a few time. Hers?_

"_You're in a dream."_

_She closed her eyes and let the child's explanation wash over her. The alcohol (so much alcohol), the fighting, the fire, the break-up. The past twenty-four hours raced through her memory and the only thing that didn't add up was the mysterious hotel room that she magically woken up in. Of course it was a dream. Of course it was._

"_I don't understand," Jess whispered._

_The little girl blinked up at her. "Don't you want to see what you could lose? Or see what you could have?"_

_Her words echoed through Jess' mind. See what she could lose? She what she could have? Then everything clicked into place. This dream was her life…her future, well, if she and Nick could ever get on the same page._

_The child, who stared up her looking so much like a miniature of version of herself, blinked her chocolate-colored eyes that were so much like Nick's. She was their daughter, their future daughter, and Jess had never seen anything so perfect in her entire life._

"_Are you coming to breakfast? We're having waffles!" She extended her hand in Jess' direction. She hesitated for only a minute, reminded herself she was in a dream, took the child's hand in hers, and allowed herself to be pulled out of the room. She grabbed the lightweight robe that she noticed sitting on a chair by the door and shrugged it on as the child continued to tug her through the room._

_The little girl giggled and it sent emotional, overpowering joy straight to her heart. This was her child. Her and Nick's child. This was her house. This was her future. _

_She wanted to see it all._

()()()()()

_Their house was gorgeous. There were shiny, hardwood floors lining the hallway and a balcony that overlooked the floor below. She noticed a floor-to-ceiling fireplace, plush couches, and a child-sized table covered with construction paper and crayons. There was a coffee table with a few magazines scattered across it as well as a half-played game of checkers. The room looked inviting and lived-in and Jess was surprised at how it looked so different from the house she imagined in her idea of the future._

_But that didn't mean she didn't love it. And she had to admit a big part of that was because of the hand she currently held. This little girl, her daughter, was the only thing she could focus on. They could have been in a cabin in the woods or a trailer mounted on cement blocks and she still would've thought it was perfect._

_They were just about to take the staircase downstairs when the little girl dropped her hand and took off down the stairs. _

"_Where are you going?" Jess called after her, noticing how empty her hand suddenly felt._

_The child's hair bounced as she bounded down the stairs. "I told Daddy I'd help him," she called over her shoulder. "But remember…he doesn't know you're having a dream. Come find us!"_

_Jess watched the little girl continue down the stairs and then disappear down the hallway. When she was finally able to turn her attention away she noticed the photographs that lined the stairway. Their were various pictures of the child, and Nick and Jess with her, as she grew. Pictures from her first bath, her dance classes, a birthday party…a proverbial greatest hits of their life together so far. _

_It was both wonderful and sad to see. Jess loved knowing that it had all worked out, every doubt she or Nick had ever had, but she hated that she'd missed it all. She would've given anything to watch her daughter take her first steps or run around the house in a tiny pair of tap shoes. But then she sobered slightly and remembered what the little girl had told her. She could have all those things, in real time, if she and Nick were able to fix their problems._

_Jess continued down the stairs to the room she'd only studied from the floor above. She scanned the room until she noticed an espresso colored desk. It sat along a wall of windows and next to a pair of double-doors that opened onto a deck that spanned the entire back of the house. Strewn across the workspace were brown note cards with tiny orange flowers and an open address book. Jess picked up one of the cards and flipped it open to read the inside._

'_Please join us for a celebration of Clementine's 6__th__ Birthday. 4pm at our house on June 20__th__. Dinner will be served. Please RSVP to Nick by June 15__th__. Regrets only.'_

_She read the phone number that clearly belonged to Nick and felt tears prick in her eyes for the first time since she'd woken up in this dream. Learning her dream daughter's name, the name she'd loved ever since she learned the song 'Oh My Darling' in kindergarten, made everything hit even closer to home. It just all seemed too real, too perfect, and she wanted to fix the present now. She wanted to know that all of this could become her reality and she didn't want to wait to wake up._

"_Babe?"_

_She turned her head sharply like she'd just been splashed with cold water. Nick stood in the doorway, a dishtowel slung over his shoulder, with his arms folded across his broad chest. He'd acquired a t-shirt and a pair of dress pants from somewhere and couldn't help but appreciate the way the fabric hugged his biceps perfectly._

"_Are you coming to breakfast? I told Clem to tell you it was ready…"_

_Jess stared at him, once again overwhelmed by how he seemed so different yet so much the same. It was at least seven years in the future and somewhere along the line Nick had figured it out. He'd found something, or some reason, to grow up. She'd never wanted him to change, never expected it, but it was reassuring to see that he had at least adapted to the job of fatherhood. There was responsibility and happiness when she looked at him now and she figured their lives were going well if they were able to afford a house like the one she currently stood in._

"_Jess?"_

_Her head snapped up again. Her eyes connected with Nick's and he smiled. Regardless of the hazy appearance her dream-life had there was one thing she was certain of - he was still beautiful and she still wanted him. Badly._

"_Come on…I even got powdered sugar for the waffles. I know it's your favorite."_

_Jess smiled. It _was _her favorite._

_She followed him into the kitchen and tried to ignore how it was just as gorgeous as the rest of the house. It was so much more than she was accustomed to and she was unsure how she felt about it. But it was a dream, she mentally reminded herself, she might as well enjoy the working appliances and stellar electrical panel while she had them._

_Jess moved cautiously around the kitchen's center island and a breakfast nook came into sight. The tiny alcove had windows on three sides and a cheerful table sat directly in the middle. There were three places set with black and white checked placemats and squared dinner plates. There was a pile of waffles sitting in the middle of the table and steam rose from the mugs at two of the settings._

_Nick and Clementine sat at the table and, at the same time, they both turned their heads to look at her. She froze. They smiled and she felt the wind rush out of her body. The child's smile was Nick's smile and playful dimples formed on her cheeks just like they did on his._

"_Finally! I'm starving!"_

_The little girl leaned over the table and took a waffle onto her plate. She dumped an atrocious amount of syrup onto her breakfast and then reached for the powdered sugar dispenser and proceeded to cover her entire plate with the sweetener. You could barely see the waffle under the small mountain of sugar._

_Jess looked over at Nick expectantly. She wasn't sure what she wanted from him or what she was supposed to say but she was still speechless…and that didn't happen very often._

_He threw his hands into the air, surrendering, and totally misinterpreted her glare. "Ok, I get it. Sorry." He turned his attention to the little girl, who had somehow managed to locate the waffle under the sugar and syrup and was lifting a lofty sized bite towards her open mouth. Syrup dripped in sticky sweet strands onto her hands and lap and Jess felt her teeth decaying just at the sight. "Clementine…you know how we talked about manners? Wait until everyone sits down before you start eating."_

_Wait. Nick was correcting their daughter about _manners_? Wow. She really was dreaming._

_Nick pulled a waffle onto his own plate and raised an eyebrow at Jess, who still stood motionless. She cleared her throat nervously and, again, he misunderstood her non-verbal communication._

"_Oh…and apologize to your mother."_

_The little girl pouted and reluctantly set the fork down on her plate. She looked up at Jess with big, brown eyes and a slightly disappointed smirk. "Sorry, Mommy."_

_Nick smiled appreciatively. "That's my girl." He covered his own waffle with syrup and powdered sugar and shoved a bite into his mouth. He set his fork down, brushed his hands together to rid them of any access powder, and pulled the chair out for Jess. "Come on. The Miller's have manners, but damn, when it's time to eat it's time to eat."_

_Jess sunk onto the chair, her eyes fluttering back and forth between the child and Nick, both of whom continued to eat their breakfast like it was the most normal day in the world._

_None of this made any sense._

_And she loved every second of it._

()()()()()

_Jess's eyes continued to bounce between Nick and the child. They ate and talked back-and-forth casually. She sat there, her plate empty and her mind racing. She felt like she was in the twilight zone._

_She remained pretty much silent as they ate, enjoying the discovered dynamic between father and daughter. She's imagined what Nick would be like as a father a million times and in a lot of ways what she was currently experiencing wasn't that far off base. He was silly and immature but still firm and, surprisingly, responsible. He listened to the little girl's embellished stories and asked questions about what she told him. He wanted to know what was going on with her friends at school and her input on where they should go on vacation that summer. It was obvious from the look on Clementine's face that the feeling was completely mutual; she adored him._

_Clementine had just gotten done telling Nick a rather spirited tale about her dance class, which included different voices for the different children and proof that "Felicity ruined the whole thing", when Jess caught herself chuckling along with the two other people at the table. It was the first time since she'd be conscious of the dream that she felt like she wasn't in one. Sitting at the table with her little family was everything she ever wanted._

_Nick took another sip of his juice and laughed. "I don't understand any of the words you just used when you were talking about your ballet class, Clem. You lost me at pirouette."_

_The little girl rolled her eyes. "Daddy this is the _simple_ stuff! I'm not even six yet. Imagine how hard the words will be to learn when I'm, like, twelve!"_

_Jess watched Nick closely for his reaction. She waited for any indication that he or the child were playing some sort of elaborate joke on her (was she really supposed to believe Nick actually knew what a pirouette was?) but instead he just grinned proudly. Well that was different. Generally he had no patience for her endless supply of whimsical banter but, as his daughter spoke, he seemed almost…entertained._

_Nick wiped his mouth with his napkin and placed it on his empty plate. "I liked it better when you were too young to speak in detail about these things. Now it's two against one…there's no way I can win."_

_The child covered her mouth and giggled. Nick smiled at her and looked down to check his watch. "Shit…sorry girls but I have to get out of here…"_

"_But Daddy," Clementine whined, "It's Saturday!"_

_He stood up and moved into the kitchen to deposit his plate (!) in the dishwasher. He rinsed his hands in the sink and dried them on a dishtowel. "I know. I'm sorry, Peach." He moved back over to the table and crouched down in front of the little girl. "Why don't you and Mommy come downtown and meet me for lunch? I only have to go into the office for a couple of hours. I should be able to spend the whole afternoon with both of you." _

_The child clapped her hands with glee. Apparently lunch downtown was the key to this almost-six-year-old's heart._

"_What do you think, Jessica?" Nick shot a pointed look in her direction._

_She nodded enthusiastically, fairly certain there wasn't another option. "Sure. Sounds great." _

"_Then I guess I'll see you both later." He walked into the adjoining room and returned a minute later buttoning a newly acquired dress shirt and pulling a suit jacket onto his arms. He held a rumpled tie in his hands. He leaned over and kissed them both on their cheeks. "I gotta go. I love you both. See you later!"_

_And with that Nick was gone, leaving the two girls sitting alone at the table._

_What the hell was Jess supposed to do now? She didn't know how to entertain a child this small (she taught middle school after all). She didn't know where Nick actually worked (apparently somewhere that required a tie, but that didn't help much). _

_She snapped out of her momentary panic when she noticed that Clementine had begun to clear off the table. She shook off her trance and followed the child's example. She deposited her dishes into the dishwasher and then noticed that her daughter (she supposed she could refer to the dream child as that for the time being) was staring up at her._

"_Do you think you could put my hair in two braids today? I know it's kind of short right now, but I love when you fix it like that."_

_Jess beamed. She'd always loved when her mother had put her hair into pigtail braids. She wrapped her hand around Clementine's and let the child pull her up the stairs. _

_For something that was only a dream her emotions felt very real._

()()()()()

_It had been the single best afternoon of her life._

_After she'd done Clementine's hair they had spent the next few hours exploring the house. She disguised it as a treasure hunt so the child wouldn't suspect anything too unusual and they'd had entirely too much fun ripping the place apart. _

_Everything they'd found trigged a story in Clem's memory. She rambled on about trips to Oregon to visit her grandparents and other details of her life that made Jess yearn more and more for the future she now (for sure) knew she wanted._

_But the most surprising discovery had been in Nick's underwear drawer…his business cards. She'd been a little put off to find them there at first but then she'd realized that it made perfect sense. It was vintage Nick. _

_And this Nick was a _lawyer_. She never thought she'd see the day when other people would actually know he'd passed the bar exam (and maybe people never would know…this was Dream Nick). Apparently, when he actually took things seriously, he was a pretty good lawyer. She'd traced her finger over the engraved business card and smiled proudly when she'd learned that he was partner at the firm he worked that. Well, that explained the unnecessarily large house in the Hills at least._

_She'd recognized the address on the business card and, after making sure Clementine was properly secured in her booster seat, they'd driven downtown to meet Nick at his office. He'd been outside waiting for them when they'd arrived and she'd felt herself melt a little at the lazy smile he'd given her._

_They'd dined outside at a Middle Eastern restaurant and discussed Clementine's upcoming rainbow-themed birthday party over grape leaves and mango smoothies. Jess thought she already loved Nick, but after seeing him as a father she felt that love deepen. _

_He was amazing with their daughter. She loved that this Nick wasn't a completely different person, but more like an evolved version of the Nick she knew. It was refreshing. She'd never, not once, wanted him to change, but knowing that he could add these desirable characteristics without sacrificing who he was? Well, that was all she ever wanted._

_After lunch they'd walked through her favorite park downtown and gotten ice cream while Clementine (and Nick) chased ducks through a field and climbed on the jungle gym. They'd gotten hotdogs from a food cart for dinner and the sun was beginning to set when both cars pulled into the driveway. _

_Jess glanced into the rearview mirror of her fancy SUV and saw her daughter sleeping soundly in the backseat. Her heart squeezed in her chest as Nick walked up and tapped on her window. He instantly noticed what she was fixated on._

_She slid out of the car and closed the door gently so she wouldn't wake Clementine. She only stood there for a minute, staring up at Nick with hungry eyes, before he pushed her against the car and attacked her lips with his own. He moved his hands underneath her shirt and she let him without any resistance, too desperate to feel his hands against her skin. She didn't know how long it would take to get back to this place in her actual reality so she decided to let herself get lost in the moment. _

_He sucked her lower lip into his mouth just the way she liked and she tightened her grip on his arms before he pulled away from her reluctantly. Her pressed his forehead against her temple and wrapped his arms around her waist, drawing her against him. His breath was hot against her face and she was comforted knowing that he still wanted her, even all these years in the future (dream or not)._

"_We should probably get her inside," he said quietly, his thumbs rubbing circles on her waist._

"_Ok," she agreed. "You carry her and I'll follow."_

_Ten minutes later they had Clementine changed into red and white striped pajamas and nestled into her very pink bed. She'd woken up for only a minute, but it was long enough for her to tell both of them that she loved them. She rolled onto her side as her light-up carousel music box projected patterns on the wall and filled the room with familiar children's tunes. Jess stood there and watched the child sleep until she felt Nick's hand close around hers. Only then she did allow him to pull her in the direction of the hallway. _

_She was just about to step out the door when she heard the sheets rustle and looked back to see Clementine sitting up in her bed. _

"_Mommy?"_

_Jess's heart swelled. She pulled her hand out of Nick's and walked back towards the child. She sunk to her knees next to the child and took her small hands in her own. Clementine stared at her for a moment and then launched herself into Jess's arms. She snuggled her face against Jess and leaned in to whisper in her ear._

"_You're a really good mom. I hope I get to see you again. Daddy loves you very much."_

_She sucked in a deep breath. She wouldn't cry. She smoothed the little girl's hair and tucked her back into bed. "I hope so too." She kissed her daughter once more and then retreated towards Nick, tucking her hand back into his._

_They moved into the hallway and she watched as he closed the door behind them and then sucked in a sharp breath when he turned around and came chest to chest with her. She inhaled sharply as he invaded her personal space and lifted his arms to rest gently against her hips._

"_She's amazing," Jess breathed, her voice barely audible. She wanted to say more, so much more, but was afraid she'd only be overcome with emotion if she elaborated. This day, which probably seemed so ordinary to him, meant everything to her._

_Nick looked over his shoulder at the closed door. "Who? Clem? She's ok I guess." She swatted his arm and he smiled at her, eyes softened. "She's the best thing I never knew I wanted."_

_She stared at him silently, his words sinking into her memory. "What do you mean?"_

"_She was my trigger, you know?" Jess didn't know. She wanted him to continue. "If it hadn't been for her I'm not sure I'd have any of this right now. The job, the house…you."_

_She connected the dots. Clementine had come first. She'd come before any of his success or even before their marriage. Somehow, their daughter had set-off a chain reaction in their life. Jess assumed the pregnancy had come as a surprise and had forced Nick to reevaluate his direction. He was right…sometimes it took something you didn't even know you wanted to make you see how badly you needed…well, everything._

"_We would have been ok," Jess said quietly, confident now that she and Nick would fix whatever problems they'd stumbled upon and somehow she would be able to have this life again. It wasn't good enough to know she had it in the dream. She wanted it to be her reality._

_Nick gave her the turtle face that she loved so much and bobbed his head. "Probably, but seeing you stand there with that positive pregnancy test changed everything. It made me grow up and finally be a man. And now I have you and our beautiful daughter and this life and I don't have many complaints. It was amazing how easy it was to have responsibility once I had a reason to."_

_She could have stood there and talked to him for hours. Listened to him talk about how their child had warped his whole life, his whole outlook, but she didn't want to know all of their secrets. She knew enough to know they would be ok and that was all she really needed._

"_Come on," he urged. "I think we've earned a little adult time."_

_She didn't disagree. She wanted to enjoy every second of her dream while it lasted and if that included sex with Nick she surely wasn't going to say no._

()()()()()

She woke up suddenly. It wasn't one of those leisurely wakeups when you were conscious to what was happening before you actually opened your eyes. Her eyes popped open and she sat straight up in bed.

She looked around the room frantically for a moment and then sobered when she realized it was the room she woke up in everyday. Gone was the perfectly painted white ceiling and wide planked hardwood floor. She pulled the ratty, well-worn comforter up to her shoulders and fell back against the mattress.

She turned her head slightly to the side and felt Nick's sleeping body shift silently next to hers. She gentle movement of the mattress comforted her for a moment and she inhaled sadly as she felt his arm unconsciously brush hers.

For a moment she longed for the life she'd dreamed about. She wanted to have Nick's arms around her again and to see their perfect daughter at the breakfast table when she walked down the stairs. But then she remembered that life was all about the journey, not the destination. She needed to work fixing her relationship with Nick now so she would get to experience every second of the life they created together.

With a sigh she rolled onto her side so she was laying face-to-face with Nick. She pulled his arm over her hip and snuggled her face against his neck. She just wanted to be close to him in that moment.

They would have plenty of time to figure how to fix the mess they'd made.


End file.
